Stairs Suck

Can I just say how much I despise two-story houses? And those doggone (there's that word again) humans.

    They're up
       Then they're down
          Up
             Down
                Down
                    Up
                        Uuuup and dowwwwn
                              Dowwwwn and uuuup

How's an almost-13-year-old-dog (that's 91 in human years) supposed to keep up with this nonsense?

Where are you going? I just got up here! 

Where are you going? I just got down here! 

Seriously? You're going downstairs again?

Uh, no. I will not come upstairs with you.
My legs are broken.